May 31 - Hey!  I hope you all had a great day.  It was a long, strange day for us at WOMP Central.  Besides drawing HORRIBLE (and I mean HORRIBLE) caricatures of my in-laws (horrible, I believe, because of the spur-of-the-moment request, tiny old pen, copier paper, the sun, wind, rain, etc., etc. - and, of course, the fact that the subjects were my in-laws!), we've been planning the specifics of the Silly-Super-Secret-Summere-Special Contest and Sale Event, and we hit a snag!  No big deal, but it has taken all day to solve it (and the solution stinks, but it's all we can do).  I don't want to spoil the nature of the secrecy, so let's just put it in these terms; I asked for something, and was told I could have it.  I thought about it for a day, but, when I went to get it, someone else had purposely stolen it...and is planning to use it
against me!
  ACK!  It's OK, though.  I've got backup plans, but it really did hurt to have to resort to them under these circumstances.  At least it wasn't personal (I hope).  Someday, I will let you all know just what the heck I'm talking about (and I'm sure that some of you may guess it anyway), but, don't worry, plans are still on track...in fact, this minor set-back may have actually sped everything up a bit!  Stay tuned!

May 30 - Did I mention the dynamite?  I can't remember (and I'm too lazy to check) whether or not I have told you, dear WOMP-Blog reader, about the huge stockpile of explosives unearthed in WOMP's hometown, Prairie du Chien!  In preparation of highway expansion, the state of Wisconsin purchased land from an area construction contractor.  After the deal was done, they discovered an enormous pile of old dynamite buried in the remains of an old shed.  We're talking about military ordinance grade destructive power!  As you might imagine, it is also very near the main highway through town.  So, since before Winter set in last year, at least one armed Wisconsin State Patrolman has been guarding the stash twenty-four hours a day!  Why?  Because of the instability caused by their age, the individual sticks of dynamite can only be removed at a certain temperature, and only after thawing naturally.  So, now that Spring has sprung, the state plans to remove the dynamite over the course of June 8th, 9th, and 10th.  That's all good, of course, but, unfortunately, it means that not only will the main highway through town be closed for three days (the dynamite is EXACTLY at the point at which no other highway, street, gravel road, nor dirt path goes from one side of town to the other, effectively cutting Prairie du Chien in half), but also that homes in the area will have to be evacuated during the removal.  Guess where WOMP H.Q. is?  YEP!  As far as we've been told, we may have to abandon WOMP Central for the duration!  That, however, is a strong suggestion for where we are, not a police order, so I think that we'll stick it out.  We are in the "windows may shatter" range, so I want to be here to take care of any damage as it may occur.  Of course, we pray that nothing will go wrong, as it would mean much worse for those performing the removal.  The people around here have been making nervous jokes about it (for example, Culver's Restaurant, which is mere feet from the buried explosives, has the following message on their marquee; "OUR CHICKEN IS DYNAMITE!"), but the gravity of the situation was brought into the stark reality when President Bush's bus drove through town, passing within 100 feet or so of the danger.  Security around the site was so strict at that point, that guests in nearby hotels were told they had to remain in their rooms!  Anyhoo, I thought that I should mention all of this because, although I'm not counting on it, I may not be able to post an entry in the ol' WOMP-Blog for those few days.  I'll keep you up-dated!  See ya!

May 29 - Yo!  How's it goin'?  So, as I mentioned in one of the more recent entries in the ol' WOMP-Blog, my buddy, and Official Friend of WOMP, William "Bill" Waite, was planning to set up a booth at the Art Show in neighboring McGregor, Iowa.  The fee, $75.00, was a little high, but he decided to chance it.  Today was the first day of that show.  I told Bill that I'd stop by at some point and I would "sit" his booth for a bit in the middle of the day so that he could take a break, get something to eat, or whatever.  I should probably tell you something about Bill.  He is a talented artist in many kinds of media (most noteworthy being music composition and painting), but his most recent passion has been designing intricate and complicated mechanical puzzles.  That's what he was selling today.  Now, these aren't your average, ordinary puzzles.  These are strange and wonderful pieces of art that not only challenge the mind, but please the eye as well!  They are made of many kinds of hardwood (and I guess he has a couple that are made out of mutli- color plastic), and they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes.  Think of them as more complex and beautiful Rubik's Cubes.  Bill has won some international awards for his designs, and he will even be a featured guest at this year's International Puzzle Convention in Tokyo, Japan!  In fact, his stuff is probably a little too nice to be just selling on the street at an Art Show in McGregor, Iowa, but there he was anyway.  I brought my Mom over to the show, and she looked around while I found Bill's booth.  He had (has) a great spot, but there weren't many people at his table.  After I said "Hi" to him, I asked "So, what do I need to know while you're gone?"  He told me that I should basically just say that he'd be right back.  "Well, in case someone asks, how much are the puzzles?" I added.  "These lucite puzzles are fifteen dollars, these tray puzzles are twenty.  This design is twenty-five, though.  These are forty, these are fifty, this one is ninety, and this is one-ninety."  I just about fell over!  Of course, I know that they are worth all of that, if not much more, but how did he expect to sell any of it?  I bit my tongue and was just about to sit down when a lady stopped and began looking at the puzzles.  She said "my son is turning thirty, and I never know what to get him for his birthday.  Do you think that one of these would appeal to a computer programmer?"  "I think that they all would, especially this design" answered Bill, and, two minutes later, he sold a forty dollar puzzle.  OK, so he was bound to sell one.  So, he started for his car to get different shoes, when another couple of unlikely prospects, two Harley-Davidson enthusiasts, stopped and asked "So what's the deal with the puzzles?"  Bill told him that he was the designer, and, in many cases, the manufacturer, and that these designs were only available through him.  Two minutes later, Fifty dollars worth of puzzles left the table.  "OK, this time I'm going" he said...but a little girl (I don't know, maybe ten or twelve years old) asked how much one of the plastic puzzles, of a fish with brightly colored and removable interlocking scales, was.  "Those are fifteen dollars.  Did you try to solve it?"  "Not yet" she countered, as her hands began turning pieces this way and that way.  Finally, she said "Here," and handed Bill twenty dollars.  He got her some change, and another puzzle left the table.  He looked at me as if to say "I really shouldn't leave," but I said "Just go quick...and hurry back!"  He sprinted away, quick like a bunny.  In the five minutes that he was gone, four more people were at his booth, asking all sorts of difficult questions.  I kept saying "Oh, he will be right back, and he will be able to help you."  Thankfully, he and my Mom came back to the booth at about the same time.  Before I left, he'd sold two more twenty dollar puzzles, and was in the process of selling the ninety dollar puzzle.  As I walked off in a daze, Mom said that everyone else in the Art Show was buzzing about how well Bill was doing, while they were not.  I confirmed that with my anecdotal evidence, and together we silently began adding up all of that money in our heads.  At the same moment, we both suddenly said "I guess he'll make back his seventy-five dollars!"  I know that this is just a small scale success for him, but it was impressive, nonetheless.  It just goes to show you that, if you believe in something strongly enough, your enthusiasm for it becomes infectious.  Let's say that that's the lesson for the day, shall we?  That, and we all should start designing puzzles as soon as possible!  For more information about Bi...OOPS, I mean William, and his puzzles, check out his  web-site from the LINKS page, or by clicking HERE.  The site itself is ALSO a puzzle!  ACK!  This guy just won't quit!

May 28 - Hello, again, folks.  What up?  I'm going to apologize in advance for tonight's entry.  It may be pretty short, and I'm sure that it will be boring.  It was another LONG day at the darn "real" job, and I am BEAT!  On top of that, I will be driving my Mom around again tomorrow, starting at 7:00am, so I have to try to get some sleep.  As longtime readers of the ol' WOMP-Blog may remember, I normally wrap up my day at about 5:00am, so I hope I can force myself to get to bed early.  I did get another quick art job, which I plan to get done tonight...but I'm not optimistic that it won't take two days anyway.  Over this holiday weekend, the little towns in our area are chock-full of flea markets, art shows, and all sorts of stuff, so, hopefully, I will have many neat things to talk about in the next few entries.  I guess that's how it goes...sometimes "feast," other times "famine."  Right now, I'd settle for "light snack."

May 27 - Not much tonight, folks.  I had to play "bus-driver" for my Mom all day.  We just got back home, and I'm whipped.  I did get the inks for the Purgatory Punks artwork done earlier, though, and it looks pretty cool!  I am going to do a painted version of it, too, so it's not yet ready for posting on the WOMP-Site, but it should be by the end of the long weekend.  By the way, I should tell you that, if all goes according to plan, the final product will have something to do with the Still-Sorta-Secret-Summer-Special Contest and Sale Event....but what?  Stay tuned for more clues!

May 26 - Hey, e-friends!  Well, it's now official; WOMP will be set up at the Comic Book I-CON Convention in Des Moines a month from now!  The con is held on just one day, Sunday, June 27th, at the Iowa State Fairgrounds.  I've always wanted to go, but, for one stupid reason or another, I haven't yet.  That's unusual, too, because it is much closer to WOMP H.Q. than many others that I've set up at.  I hope that they have a good turn out.  I'm really looking forward to seeing how Monkey goes over in a new venue (although I know that I will recognize many of the attendees).  I hope to unveil the Still-Sorta-Secret-Summer-Special Contest and Sale Event when I'm there, too, so let's say that I will give all WOMP-Blog readers a "heads-up" sneak peek at the Event on Friday, June 25th.  Be sure to read that night's entry for the details (I start writing it around 10:00pm, but I usually don't get it actually posted until right about 11:30pm or midnight).  Of course, I will continue to leave little hints and clues here in the WOMP-Blog between now and then, too.  Of course, you can show up at the I-CON, too!  I hope to see you there!

May 25 - Happy Star Wars Day!  As I mention in the "This Week In The Adventures of Monkey" feature on the Main Page of the WOMP-Site, the original (and best) Star Wars movie premiered on this date in 1977.  In the "This Week" column, I try to explain why this was such a big deal, especially to me.  That's hard to do, honestly, as describing your first love should be!  OK, so, maybe "first love" is a bit too strong, but it comes closest to describing the feelings that its memory evokes.  I think it's important to note that, although I was a Star Trek/Twilight Zone/comic books kind of kid, the influence that this classic film had on me was not necessarily because of its science-fantasy genre.  In the days leading up to the Summer of 1977, it seemed like ALL popular culture fell into two categories; fond recollections of times past (Paper Moon, The Waltons, ect.), and frightening warnings of our doomed future (Planet of The Apes,
Soylent Green
, etc.).  It was pretty obvious to me that this was saying to kids of that time "All of the good days are gone, and the future is an inevitable nightmare of mutated monsters and broad over-acting."  I already knew that I would be living through some of the classic science-fiction dates (2001, 1999, and I even graduated high school in 1984), so I fully expected to be blown up, or at the very least mutated, by a nuke or two.  Then, a brilliant young man, named George Lucas, changed my life!  He took the best elements of the "good old days," and placed them in the genre of science fiction.  Of course!   There's a reason why the film starts with "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..."  In one fell swoop, Mr. Lucas had made me believe that 1977 was not only the "good old days" of my future self, but that that future "me" might actually have a good life.  That's also due to the sort of universal message of the film that there will be bad times, and even very bad people, but that's no reason to give up hope.  Actually, it is the very reason to HAVE hope.  It's no surprise, then, that the subtitle for Star Wars is Episode IV; A New Hope! Of course, the wookies and droids and space cruisers and lasers and such were pretty cool, too!  In fact, I had a fairly unhealthy obsession with all Star Wars stuff, especially C-3PO (a 12 inch figure of whom is watching over me right now).  I, like so many other kids of the time, saw the movie nineteen times in the theater (remember, no VCRs or DVDs back then), and, each time, I thought more and more that I wanted to also create something with the same dynamics; reflecting the past, looking toward the future, and featuring fun characters that people would love!  Maybe, someday, another eleven-year-old kid will read my comics and feel that he, too, has a reason to have hope. 

May 24 - More storms tonight, everyone.  In fact, after recent events, I think that I might not stay on the computer too long!  That's OK, because I don't have a whole lot of stuff to talk about, anyway.  Artist, and Official Friend of WOMP, Mr. William Waite, stopped by WOMP H.Q. this afternoon.  He is preparing to set up "shop" at an Arts Fest, to be held this weekend in one of the neighboring communities, McGregor, Iowa.  Since I used to work there, I offered to drive him over to the Chamber of Commerce office to register.  What a shock we got!  McGregor, like Prairie du Chien, is right on the Mississippi River, so it has seen its share of flooding, but, apparently these recent storms caused a California-style
mud-slide
that filled the main streets with anywhere from a few inches to two feet of standing MUD!  When we arrived, most of the mud had been removed from the streets, but the unexpected scope of the damage was still evident.  It was pretty shocking, really.  I worked in McGregor during a couple of the worst floods of recent years, and the damage caused then was not even close to the dramatic results of this storm.  No buildings were significantly damaged, but homes and businesses, far outside of the flood zone, had to be completely evacuated, including the just remodelled McGregor Museum (the grand re-opening is in just a few days), and the world famous River Junction Trading Company (makers of authentic reproduction vintage clothing and cowboy stuff, most recently for the HBO series Deadwood).  For those who are familiar with McGregor's lay-out, I'll tell you that the upper-most edges of the mud-slide went through the St. Mary's Church parking lot!  That's something like three-quarters of the town!  I hate to think of what McGregor will look like after tonight's storm.  At least they had begun to put sandbags around some of the doorways and endangered buildings, so they may be better prepared for further bad weather.  Which reminds me, didn't I say that I wasn't going to be on-line for very long?  Oh, well...

May 23 - Hey, everyone!  Man, have we had some wicked storms here over the last few nights!  Last night, right after posting the day's WOMP-Blog entry, lightning actually struck our two-doors-down neighbors' house!  I just happened to be looking out the window right then, when I saw a flash, then BANG!   I just about jumped out of my skin!  The police were there in less than five minutes, and the fire department no more than ten minutes after that.  Fortunately, everyone is OK, and the only damage was two blown-out windows (which might seem pretty bad, but, compared to the sound that the strike made, it was nothing).  I feel bad, because, as a joke, I pretended, two days ago in the ol' WOMP-Blog, that such a lightning bolt had hit our house!  It was storming just as badly, but I didn't really think that I might get hit by a deadly streak of energy from the sky!  I was just being "silly."  YOWZA!  Tonight, the day's rain has stopped, and everything seems pretty calm.  In fact, the temperature has been just perfect for drawing!  I've been working on several projects all day, including the Purgatory Punks logo artwork.  It is turning out to be a lot more work than I thought it would be at first, but it is loooking good!  I'm also working on a couple of little projects, one for a co-worker from the dank "real" job, and another for the local "Cancer Walk" event.  Pretty boring stuff, but it pays the bills, I guess.  If I can, I hope to squeeze in a little The Adventures of Monkey work, too!  Which reminds me...OOOH, the fanticipation is just killing me!  I know I am driving everyone nuts about the upcoming big Super-Secret-Summer-Special Contest and Sale Event, but it is coming together quickly, and it is even making ME excited!  And I hate everything!  I just hope that everyone has as much fun with it as I have already!  How about another hint?  OK, just for you... look for not one, not two, not even just three prize levels in the contest, but as many as FIVE valuable top prize PACKAGES, and several "consolation" prizes!  It should be lots of fun, and you, dear WOMP-Blog reader, will get the first chance to enter the contest, and, with as few people who actually are WOMP-Blog readers (not to mention "dear"), you have a darn good chance of winning!  That's all I can say!  I have definitely revealed too much!  Go!  Go on!  Get out of here!  I can't say any more about it, or it will spoil the fun!  Of course, I may still let you know even more tomorrow....

May 22 - Howdy, y'all.  Not a whole lot to talk about tonight.  It was another dreaded "real" job day, so I'm barely in the mood to sit upright, nonetheless write about anything.  The day did find me crossing paths, once again, with gentleman cartoonist, and, yes, Official Friend of WOMP, Mr. Aaron Uglum.  We talked briefly about his Rein Lion Comics web-site (featuring The Flying Banner on-line comic strip).  He is just about to launch a line of apparel merchandise, so keep an eye out for that.  I also worked on plans for the highly fanticipated Super-Secret-Summer-Special Contest and Sale Event!  Everything is coming together nicely...quite nicely indeed (Mhah Ha Ha....).  I will now reveal that I will be placing ads in the Comics Buyer's Guide, on the Comic Art Community web-site, and in our local paper, the
Courier Press
.  Look for ads and other info to begin showing up in late June.  The only other news that I have for ya is that the WOMPmobile still sits, untouched for days, in front of WOMP H.Q., right where it came to a rest.  The car "doctor" has yet to make his promised house call, so I guess the news on it is that there is no news.  Well, hopefully I will have something more interesting to talk about tomorrow.  Until then, Happy Trails, Pardners!

May 21 - Hey, gang!  I'm gonna keep it short tonight.  We are experiencing powerful electrical strikes in the area, and I don't want to be on the computer too long.  I have to tell you that yesterday's entry in the ol' WOMP-Blog may have revealed too much.  Mr. Brent Frankenhoff, Big Muckity-Muck at the venerable Comics Buyer's Guide, has discovered that his other title, Official Fish of WOMP, was purely bogus, meant to test his tenacity and loyalty.  For discovering the ruse, I am hereby compelled to confer upon him the honorary title of Official Friend of WOMP, plenipotentiary, ad infinitum.  Now, with that bit of housekeeping taken care of, I'd better get away from this computer beforEEEEEEEEEE!

May 20 - Hi, everybody!  Tonight was another "trip down faulty-memory lane" for me.  I got an e-mail from Official Friend of WOMP, Mr. Eric Gillitzer (WOMP-Staffer emeritus), a phone call and visit with my good friend and former collaborator, Mr. William Waite (or "Bill," as I will always know him), and I attended the retirement party for yet another
Official Friend of WOMP
, Mr. Lyle Ernst!  I've known Lyle for about six years, Eric for more than fifteen years, and Bill for around (GASP) almost twenty-five years!  That's thirty-five years of friendship brought to mind in the span of less than twelve hours.  No wonder I feel slightly worn out.  Of course, it was also another dread "real" job day, so that doesn't help.  I also delivered an art job, and finalized plans for a caricature drawing event in July (look for it on the
SCHEDULE
page)!  Anyhoo, all of this reminds me to answer a question that I got, oh, say about two months ago.  I had someone ask me how people become an Official Friend of WOMP.  It's really quite an amazing process!  First, like many awards and titles, candidates send their resume's, along with completed applications, to the WOMP Offices.  A crack team of anthropologists, theologians, and criminal psychologists then sifts through the entries, narrowing the list down to an annual five.  These five applicants are then offered lengthy and demeaning internships at WOMP.  For those brave few who accept the challenge, the road is a tough one, filled with many hardships and little promise of anything but more hardships.  After a probationary period (the length of which is flexible, determined by the individual), the ones who survive, if there are any, are given the designation of being an Official Fan of WOMP (which explains why there are so few).  From there, years of relentless lobbying, blatant bribery, and general rear-end kissing eventually bring the candidates to the outer-most fringes of my perception.  It is at that point that I confer upon them the title of
Official
Fish of WOMP, which is, of course, a completely bogus position, meant to appease the weaker supplicants.  However, for those who see through this ruse, I have a special treat.  Like Willy Wonka, I ingeniously, and inhumanely, weed out the less desirables until I'm left with only those who I can proudly bestow with the ever-lasting-gobstopper title of Official Friend of WOMP!  If this process sounds interesting to you, you clearly have mental problems...which, of course, moves you to the top of the list!

May 19 - Hi! I just learned a new "word" today, and it is quickly becoming my new favorite!  I say "word" in quotes like that because I'm not positive it's an official word, and I'm sure that it's not yet in any dictionary.  I saw it on the Elvis Presley web-site.  They said that an up-coming DVD release, featuring Elvis's legendary 1968 "comeback" TV special, was "highly fanticipated!"  So, now, "fanticipated" is my new favorite word!  I love it!  It is so perfect...in fact, it has inspired me to apply it to my still-somewhat-super-secret-Summer-Special Contest and Sale Event!  Yes, it is a highly
fanticipated
event, just the fantidote for comics readers' usual fantipathy.  This big (possibly First Fannual) Contest fand Sale Event should fanimate even the most fangry, fantisocial fan.  Keep fan eye out for further fannouncements in local fand national fannals, fand, of course, here on the WOMP-Site, official home of your favorite fanthropomorphic hero, Monkey!  I can't yet fanswer too many questions about the event, but, to prevent fany fanimosity, or even a possible faneurism, I will offer this fanecdote: once, when fantique-shopping with a fancillary WOMP staffer, I was fanalyzing some fantiquarian photos, when I actually found a fantastic 150-year-old photograph of two of my fancestors!  That was a fanominal event, but this Summer Special will, in my fanalysis, fantecede it on the list of amazing events in my life!  I may sneak some fanonymous hints into future WOMP-Blog entries, but they would be fanomolies.  I hope to reveal all soon, though, so just sit back fand enjoy the fanticipation!

May 18 - Hello, people!  It was a sort of big night for WOMP tonight.  Longtime Official Friend of WOMP, Tom Nelson, is retiring from a long teaching career in a few days, so his friends and colleagues conspired to throw him a surprise party this evening.  As part of his many gifts, I was asked to draw a portrait caricature of him and fellow teacher (and fellow Official Friend of WOMP) Cindy Hertrampf.  I had also decided to give him the original drawing of the Wizard of Oz that I had done for the 2004 Oziana publication.  This seemed only right as he was (at least in my mind) the model for the Wizard.  In fact, back in my community theater days, I held "blind" auditions for a big annual musical production, meaning I didn't know exactly what show I'd produce until I saw who wanted to be in it.  Tom showed up, as usual.  He is one of Prairie du Chien's most recognizable characters, and, as such, he'd already been in many of my shows.  After the auditions, I knew what show I wanted to produce; The Wizard of Oz, with Tom in the title roll!  I started preparations for T.W.O.O., but nothing went as planned.  I couldn't nail down the other major rolls (especially Dorothy and The Wicked Witch), my aging musical director abruptly retired, and the budget was cut in half!  That budget cut was the death-knell, not because of costuming or sets or anything (in a previous production, I had already produced an English manor main hall set for less than thirty bucks), but because, at the time, Tams-Witmark, owners of the copyright to the musical, had two versions available; one was the very expensive "classic" version, based on the MGM movie, the other was a much less expensive version which featured the same songs, but, because of earlier legal battles, a completely different script (which included a rocket ship, believe it or not).  I could no longer afford to put on the familiar version, and, frankly, the other version is so horrible that I decided to go with another show, The Fantasticks.  I offered Tom one of the parts, but, because of the small cast in The Fantasticks, I could not offer a role to his son, Mitch (himself a great talent, ingenious writer, and yet another Official Friend of WOMP).  Since it was Mitch's senior year in high school, Tom was looking to spend time with him, which would not be possible if only one of them were in a production, so he declined the role.  It was the right thing for him to do, and we went on to have a wonderful show anyway, but I can't help wondering what could have been.  In so many ways, not just physically, Tom is the Wizard of Oz!  He is a funny little man with crazy white hair, always slightly bumbling in a warm and humorous way, and always, ALWAYS helping people when they need help most.  It was my honor tonight to give him something for all of those times when he so unselfishly gave of himself to me.  Happy Retirement, Tom!

May 17 - Well, THAT was an interesting "day off" from the ol' WOMP-Blog.  I apologize for the absence, but, as the kids say, "I have a good excuse!"  Yes, it was bound to happen, and I've been dreading it for years, but, alas, the trusty (and rusty) WOMPmobile had a major breakdown yesterday!  I should explain that the WOMPmobile is not our family car, but, rather, a "spare" vehicle used to run errands, frighten evil-doers, and drive in Presidential motorcades.  While performing one of those tasks yesterday (or perhaps two of them), I backed out of a parking spot in our local "mall," put the car in drive, stepped slightly on the gas.....and just sat there, engine running.  I stomped on the gas, harder, harder, then, suddenly, SKREEETCH, it took off!  It was a pretty impressive burn-out, worthy of the many shocked stares it illicited from the other shoppers in the hardware store!  So, I did a couple of donuts, rolled up on two wheels, jumped a bus, and drove back to WOMP Central.  OK, so I really just drove back, with a mortified wife in the passenger seat.  I didn't think about the WOMPmobile's odd behavior again...until later.  At some later point in the evening, I once again saddled up ol' reliable for yet another errand run.  I put the car in reverse, gingerly placed my size 12 right boot on the accelerator, and crept forwardForward?  I put the car in park, then again into reverse, stepped slightly on the gas and, again rolled forward.  I stopped, and went through all of the same motions again.  Lather, Rinse, Repeat, but I still went forward...now dangerously close to the WOMP H.Q. garage door!  I'm sure that any possible onlookers could have actually seen a two-foot high bright-orange question mark over my head.  I scrambled out and found friendly hands to help push the stinking rotten piece of junk out into the street so I could switch over to the seldom seen (only heard of in legend and song) "real" car to complete my appointed tasks.  Cursing and steaming, I ran the last of the day's errands, and returned to find that a small conference had begun around the WOMPmobile (more like a coroner's inquest).  There, gathered, was a team of car doctors, each diagnosing the situation.  The "good" news was that they believed that it wasn't necessarily a terminal condition.  The bad news was that it would most likely be too costly to treat.  After a few hours, everyone left, and I was just too darn depressed to write anything in the WOMP-Blog, so I sat and stewed.  Images of me and the WOMPmobile, playfully chasing butterflies in a field of tall Summer grass, filled my mind.  Tears welled up in my eyes as I fondly recalled the time the WOMPmobile and I went walking down by the river, and the evening sun was setting the clouds ablaze with crimson, and we promised each other that we'd be together forever.... ...I'm sorry....please give me a moment....the wound is still fresh.  Today I had to go in to the dreary "real" job, so I tried to put everything out of my mind for a bit.  There was no further news on the WOMPmobile's condition, but we've made a car doctor's appointment for tomorrow.  I will let you know what we find out.  Until then, we must all remain strong.

May 15 - Hi, everybody! Well, I can't think of anything to write about.  Honestly, I could try to manufacture something to talk about (you know; look around the room, pick something out, and start writing about it until it makes sense), but why waste your time as well as mine?  Not that writing in the ol' WOMP-Blog is a waste of time in general, but it sure is when I have nothing to say.  I guess it is bound to happen every once in a while.  Some days I'm brimming with stuff to talk about...often a little too much!  Not tonight.  Nope.  No, sir.  Not going to happen.  Oops!  I guess I did just write about not having anything to write about, so, technically I did have something to write about, so ignore that whole first part...which means that the second part is now no longer true, so ignore that, too...which, of course, negates the need for the parts in which I just asked you to ignore different elements of the entry...which means that, technically, I have had nothing to write about, while simultaneously also having had something to write about, namely, having nothing to write about....ACK!  Um, you know what?  Let's just say that I hope I'll have something to write about tomorrow!  Bye!

May 14 - Goodness, I'm running late tonight.  I'm starting this entry in the ol' WOMP-Blog at 1:30 in the morning of what is technically the 15th.  We had guests here in the WOMP offices until just a short while ago.  I'm not sure how much of this evening I am allowed to tell you about, but suffice to say that we were all assembled to watch the NASCAR Busch Series race live, then the premiere episode of NASCAR 360 immediately afterward.  This NASCAR 360 is a great new show, on FX, which follows a handful of NASCAR drivers behind the scenes.  Two of the three guys featured were Kenny and Rusty Wallace, who are the favorites of the WOMP staff (and of the myserious guests...).  It is a very well done show, but even I will admit that it was a bit "schmaltzy" in spots.  Most of it, though, was very good, and extremely entertaining.  It made me think about how such a show could be produced featuring comic book creators.  In many ways, the day to day lives of racers and cartoonists are similar; the hard work and long hours, the growing demands of popularity as talents improve, and the burning desire to do what they love.  The other driver featured, Kevin Harvick, rounded out a sort of balanced look at the sport of NASCAR racing.  Rusty is the aging, cagy veteran, feeling the twin forces of a desire to race and a want for a "normal life."  He is still one of the weekly contenders for the win (in fact, he has 55 wins at the top level of the sport, including one just a couple of weeks ago - making him the 7th winningest driver of all time in the sport), but even he concedes that he is starting to enjoy just spending time with his wife more than, or at least as much as, his racing.  For a former hot-headed hot-shot type guy, this is quite an admission.  Kevin is still the young hot-headed hot-shot.  In fact, his temper on and off the track (which has culminated in some spectacular televised confrontations) has earned him the nickname "Happy."  He's about 26 years old or so, and very recently wed.  His life seemed to be all about coming to terms with being married and being one of the sport's "young guns" (seen in many disposable shaver ads).  Kenny is Rusty's youngest brother, but I'd guess that he's about 40 years old.  He is one of the favorites with other drivers behind the scenes because of his nutty personality.  He's like a perpetual 12 year old, even though his three daughters are in their teens.  Kenny has always been in his brother's shadow, although, perhaps because of that, he has never had the same kind of success.  His life seems to be all about making lemonade from lemons, while having a great time where-ever he goes.  In these three guys, whom I feel like I know very well after following their careers (and Fan Clubs) for many years (Rusty and Kenny used to race at the La Crosse Fairgrounds Speedway back in the 1980's), I see the common denominators between racing and cartooning careers.  I would propose that a Comic Book 360 show also follow three cartoonists at these equivalent levels, say
George Perez
, Craig Thompson, and, well, someone like me (obviously the "Kenny" of the group, although that's pretty insulting to say).  I'm not saying that it should be me, in fact I'm sure that it shouldn't, but I think that it would be interesting to see what a minor league, low-level guy's life is like, as well as those of a young hot-shot and an established superstar.  Hmmm...maybe I should call up FX and see if they have any extra money laying around....

May 13 - Well, I'm not as sick as I have been for the last couple of days, so I've been getting work done around the house, including a couple of art projects, and some eBay loading.  I've decided that it's time to try to get rid of some of my old drawings.  For as long as I can remember, I've saved any drawing that I thought, at the time, was good.  I've got tons of drawings from every year of my life, including my first!  That's partly how I remember all of Monkey's adventures from when I was a kid; I still have the artwork!  For the vast majority of my life, my artistic advancement from year to year was pretty dramatic, and I generally looked upon anything older than a few months as being embarrassing at the least, and generally awful.  Yet, I kept them, partly because I have a hard time throwing anything away, and partly because they were visual proof that I was getting better, even if I wasn't very good yet.  For the most part, I still feel like that, but, about five years ago, a strange thing happened; a couple of drawings still seemed pretty cool to me, even after a year.  Then a few more, for a couple of years.  Suddenly, I found myself sorta liking just about every drawing that I kept.  I mean, I could still see flaws in them, and they definitely look "dated" to me when I compare them to what I'm doing now, but, for the most part, they seem OK.  When that happened, I realized that it was no longer so important to keep the drawings...especially if someone else might enjoy them.  If you've seen me at a comic book convention recently, you know what I did next.  I take them with me to cons and sell them (prices range from 50 cents to thirty dollars).  This has been a nice way to share my art, make a couple of bucks, and feel like it's worthwhile to put pencil to paper at all.  Recently, though, I have begun to feel like I am too comfortable with the large number of pieces that I have in stock, so I haven't been drawing extras without an eye on specifically listing the drawing on eBay.  The backstock, mostly idea sketches and character studies, has made me complacent, and that's a bad thing, so it all must go!   Come on down to Crazy John's Bargain Hut of Sale Art!  We have sales!  We have bargains!  And we have ART!  Check out these low, low prices; get not one, not two, but FOUR concept sketches for the price of one!  That's right!  Pick up FOUR original drawings of aliens, monsters, and other strange characters for just $2.50!  Yep, $2.50!  No interest until November, easy financing plans available!  Act now, and receive a FREE gift!  SERIOUSLY, THOUGH...
I don't know what will happen if I sell out (and there's little chance of that anyway), but I do know that this is a good idea for me.  I already feel like I should get to work on more stuff...some of that inspired by what I'm selling right now!  I'm telling you, the creative process itself is as peculiar as any of the monsters that I draw!  Well, whatever works...!

May 12 - Well, I'm still sick today, darn it.  My throat feels like I've been drinking powdered glass, and my head throbs with a distinct salsa beat.  I have attempted to get work done today, with modest success, but the quality of it is not so hot because I'm in too much stupid discomfort to sit very long, so I rush stuff along more than I should.  That, and my decision-making toolbox is rolling on three wobbly wheels right now.  The most "famous" story here at WOMP Central about one of my Sick-and-Stupid episodes is when, in a haze of illness-addled logic, I placed a postcard of a cat inside the glass front door of a chiming clock because "that's where it wanted to go!"  Of course, it's still there so that the
WOMP Staff
can point to it and laugh whenever they are feeling low themselves.  Anyhoo, I have finally gotten my pictures of President Bush's visit to WOMP's hometown (Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin) posted here on The WOMP-Site! Check them out by clicking HERE!  - Seacrest OUT!

May 11 - Hey, everyone.  I tried to ignore it yesterday, but today I can not....I'm sick! I hate being sick.  It's so stupid!  I have a VERY sore throat, which makes it difficult to speak and extremely painful to swallow anything.  I've felt crummy all day, but I did get some artwork done.  I'm a little dizzy and sweaty, so it wasn't my best effort (to be sure), but at least it's finished and delivered.  I am going to attempt to get back to the drawing board after this WOMP-Blog entry, but I can't promise anything.  I'm a hypochondriactic baby when I'm sick, and everything is suddenly about me and how uncomfortable I am.  One of the complaints I have is that my "art room" has NO circulation, and, between being bent over a desk and being under several bright lights when I draw, it is monstrously hot!  And that's on a good day.  When I'm sick, I whine even more, and I sweat like a cat in a rocking chair factory (I heard that on The Beverly Hillbillies)!  Anyhoo, due to the physical discomfort of working on stuff, I may only make a token attempt to draw before I give up and go to bed early.  I know that this has been a rambling, pathetic entry, but at least this time I have an excuse!  Hopefully tomorrow I will be better.  See ya then!  (P.S. - Now I have to wait 2 days for the next Flying Banner page?  You sure know how to kick a guy when he's down, Aaron!)

May 10 - What's the deal with the mad scientists?  I'm watching Futurama right now, and Professor Farnsworth is talking about creating atomic super-monsters.  I love that show.  Anyhoo, The Professor is just one of the latest versions of a classic fictional character, the mad scientist.  I think that a clue to the popularity of the mad scientist as a device is within the title; he's not just a studious, far-thinking scientist... he's also nuts!  This dangerous combination has frightened us since Dr. Frankenstein first played god in 1818.  We seem to feel like the future is out of our hands, and, instead, in the control of a few geniuses who understand tomorrow's secrets.  In general, we begrudgingly allow such people to labor in virtual anonymity, assuming that they are using their vast intellects for the benefit of mankind - all the while nervously hoping that they are held "in check" by some sense of morals.  But, what happens when they go mad, and those morals become twisted by insanity?  It's as if we assume that the pressures of such intelligence and responsibilities will inevitably make them crazy.  In many ways, scientists are today's shamans, keepers of the universe's mysteries, powerful and preternatural.  Invested with such psychological importance, it is only logical that we should fear the scientists' losing touch with "the common man."  In this way, Marvel's X-Men are an extension of the mad scientist character (in fact, come to think of it, Professor X looks a bit like Professor Farnsworth).  When creating a story with a mad scientist, I think that it's important to remember that context.  It's too easy to always copy what has come before, but you do have to "speak to it."  Every mad scientist is "related" to Dr. Frankenstein, and people will draw the comparisons to him whether you intended for them to do so or not, so it's better to "intend" it right from the start.  Well, I guess I'll wrap this up for tonight...I have a beaker of bubbling chemicals to check on!  See ya!

May 9 - So, did you guess the answers to the brain-tester I left you with in the last WOMP-Blog entry?  Not including derivitives or variations, the three words in the English language that begin with "dw" are dwell, dwarf, and dwindle!  Of course, this had no earthly connection to Monkey, comic books, or, really, much of anything, but it was entertaining (at least for me).  Part of being a cartoonist is writing, so, in addition to the many visual "records" that I've got rattling around in my head, I keep lots of little bits of seemingly useless information stored all up in there as well.  These are the kinds of things that often spark stories.  For example, the "dw" thingee could be incorporated into a Batman story featuring The Riddler.  Yes, cartoonists are an unusual lot.  They are generally pretty intellectual (with me being the exception that proves the rule), and many have impressive knowledge of stuff other than just cartooning.  For example, ask Eric Shanower about The Wizard of Oz, Terry Beatty about classic Universal Studios movie monsters, Herb Trimpe about World War One airplanes, or ask Bill Sienkiewicz about the history of Punk and other New Wave music.  I think that it's important to try to follow your curiosity where-ever it leads you, regardless of whether or not you can forsee an immediate advantage to doing so.  Eventually, these sorts of things become part of what makes your cartooning unique, and they could very easily even lead to a job geared toward your peculiar area of knowledge.  More than that, a mindset of continual education will enrich your life!  The moment we stop learning, we truly start dying.  Oops - I meant "the moment we stop breathing, we truly start dying."  Anyway, you know what I'm saying.  As you pursue an understanding of cartooning, don't be afraid to seem to deviate from intensive study of the cartoonerly arts!  Far from being a neglect of your plans for a career, diverse experiences and knowledge will actually help you go further than you can imagine!

May 8 - Hey, kids.  Another devilish "real" job day.  To be honest, we are taking my Mom out early tomorrow morning for Mothers Day breakfast, and I'm pretty whipped from a crummy day of workin' for "the man," so I believe that I will retire early tonight.  I can't think of anything to talk about anyway.  I will ask you a fun question though; I heard this brain-tester today, and I thought it might be fun to pass it on to you.  Let's call it a tribute to one of the great NASCAR drivers of all time, Darrell Waltrip.  Now, without looking it up, can you name the three words in the English language that begin with "dw?"  Variations do not count (for example, if one of the words was "dwisk," derivitives like "dwisked," "dwiskerly," and "dwisklicious," do not count).  Think about it, then come back tomorrow for the answers!  See ya then!

May 7 - What a big day this has been!  I'm writing this a little later than usual (it's midnight, and I'm just starting) because I am finally able to take a break from all of the stuff I'm trying to get done!  Let's see, where to start?  First, I should tell you that President Bush was in town!  As you may know if you've been reading the ol' WOMP-Blog (and I find that highly improbable), Mr. Bush has today joined a long list of his predecessors who have visited WOMP's hometown, Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin (although I doubt highly that WOMP actually factored into their decisions).  I had some little art jobs due today, and I wanted to go to the bank, so I absent-mindedly hopped into my car (glancing momentarily at the curious number of helicopters overhead), and left WOMP H.Q. for points West.  I turned the corner to go to the highway that divides our city in half length-wise and saw that the intersection was blocked by a city dump truck.  As I pulled up to it, I could tell by the body language of the handful of guys standing near the truck that the Presidential motorcade must have been coming up the street!  I parked quickly, grabbed my ever-ready camera, and ran out to the spot right in front of a prominent "Welcome to Prairie du Chien" sign that the local Jaycees maintain.  It's the perfect setting to see (and be seen by?) The President of The United States!  Besides the sign, there is a beautiful historic structure (The Old Rock School, the very building where, as a boy, I bought Monkey in 1972!), a retired tank, a large American flag, and an "All-Wars" Veterans Memorial Wall!  I was the only one there!  I knelt down to keep from blocking the scenery just as the first motorcycle cop went by.  I started taking pictures, and, sure enough, there was "W" right in the window of his "Yes, America Can" bus!  I think I got a pretty good one of him, too!  I went back to the car (I still had to get downtown, remember) and rolled to the back of the now-idling dump truck.  After about 25 official-looking vehicles passed, he and I rolled out onto the highway, becoming the tail end of the motorcade!  Turns out that every other intersection, driveway, and parking lot entrance, had been blocked by a physical barrier, not a truck.  This meant that everyone was waiving at us, too!  Pretty embarrassing, especially considering how crummy the current WOMPmobile looks (although, I guess it's better than a beat-up orange dump truck).  I got my downtown business done, and went home to find that my sister, brother-in-law, and their twin babies were visiting WOMP Central!  Also, the day's mail included FREE CANDY, and my complimentary copies of the Oziana publication for which I had provided illustrations!  The candy was from Just Born, Inc., makers of Mike & Ike and Hot Tamales candies.  I had helped (sorta) with redesigning the Hot Tamales package, for which I was paid in candy!  First free Pete's burgers for life, now this!  The Oziana magazines are pretty cool, if I may say so myself!  I'm 113 years old now, and this is the first big cartooning job that I've had actually go through to completion!  Part of being a cartoonist (at least in my experience) is having your hopes raised and dashed over and over again (for example, I was given a chance, about two years ago now, to provide a short story for a Star Wars comic book, but it all fell through).  That was one of the reasons why I wanted to make The Adventures of Monkey comics; it was one big art job that couldn't be cancelled out from under me!  In fact, there are often MANY such shadowy offers that briefly come my way, but they fall through so often, that I've decided not to write about them in the ol' WOMP-Blog until I am positive that they are "real."  Anyhoo, I showed my family the
Oziana
mags, and they produced the desired "oohs" and "ahs" that make it all worth while.  We all had dinner together, after which I went back to the drawing board to complete yet another art job which had to be delivered by 8:00pm.  I finished it, jumped again into the WOMPmobile, and zipped off to deliver it.  When I returned, I started yet another project, which is due tomorrow!  ACK!  That brings us up to this WOMP-Blog entry.  This might not have seemed like much of a "big day" to you, but it sure did to me, and I'm still not done!

May 6 - Hey there, gang!  Another brief entry tonight.  I'm working on a whole bunch of stuff that has to be done for tomorrow, and I'm HOURS behind where I thought I'd be by now.  I'm a little concerned, too, about delivering at least one of the drawings because President Bush is coming to town tomorrow, and the Secret Service is closing down two of the main highways of Prairie du Chien...both of which go right past the businesses where I am supposed to deliver the art!  Of course, I'm from here, so I do know the back way to just about everywhere (in fact, I used to be a delivery boy, so I learned all sorts of short cuts!).  If possible, I hope to check in on Mr. Bush when he visits (but I'm not hopeful, because I understand that an advance ticket is required).  One way or another, I'll let you all know what happened in tomorrow night's WOMP-Blog entry!  See ya then!

Cinco de Mayo - Happy National Cartoonists Day!  Thanks to Mr. Aaron Uglum, Official Friend of WOMP, for clueing me in on the "holiday."  The date commemorates the first appearance of the Hogan's Alley comic strip, which eventually became known by the same name as it's most prominent character, The Yellow Kid.   This was a strange, VERY early strip.  It featured a gigantic full-page panel showing a "snap-shot" of life in the inner city.  Although much of the humor was based on ethnic stereotypes (especially of the Irish), it still holds up today.  As social satire, it's popularity is a clue to how people of the time really thought about stuff.  I've always felt that Pop Culture tells more about an era and those who lived through it than most text books.  I'm sure that there are college courses in Pop Culture all over the place, but I think that it should be included more in High School Social Studies and History classes.  Every American kid should know as much about Jenny Lind, Tom Thumb, Enrico Caruso, Robert Crumb, and Kurt Cobain as they are supposed to know about The California Gold Rush, Abraham Lincoln, World War One, The Viet Nam Conflict, and the collapse of the U.S.S.R..  Those kinds of world events frame the stage of the times in which Pop Culture figures acted, all witnessed by regular folks like you and me.  I think that it is also important to realize that Pop Culture represents a sort of vox populi.  While few people had much of a say in the fall of the Berlin Wall, many people did have a say in making Right Here, Right Now,  the Jesus Jones song about the event, a #1 hit.  Which brings me back around to The Yellow Kid.  While text-books often contain the odd period editorial cartoon, I believe that they should consider including several comic strips, the more popular the better.  Some, like The Yellow Kid, were direct social commentaries, but others were escapist fantasies, wishful dreams of the future, inward searching travelogues, explorations of mysterious cultures, or discussions of changing times.  In the right context, with expert interpretation and notes, cartoon strips could be very important tools for teaching (and learning).  They have the added advantage of being entertaining, and that aids in remembering lessons.  I'm sure that the only reason that I remember ANYTHING about the Tammany Hall scandal is because of the scathing (and brave) cartoons of Thomas Nast which were in my Freshman History text-book!  For a great example, check out this posted lesson about Thomas Nast HERE!

May 4 - Guess what.  I'm busy with artwork again tonight!  I'm working on the Purgatory Punks biker club logo, and I want to get preliminaries done tonight or early tomorrow morning.  When it is done, I will add it to the Recent Artwork page.  On that note, I should mention that I haven't gotten any of the Oz stuff yet, but it is coming.  When it does, I will figure out some way to to let you folks see the final product here on the WOMP-Site.  If I get extras, I may even sell them on the Monkey Stuff page.  Oh, which reminds me, keep an eye out for a new contest coming up this Summer!  I don't want to spoil anything, but it will have MULTIPLE prizes, some of which are pretty valuable!  Just for WOMP-Blog readers, I will give you an advance-notice "heads-up" a couple of days before the "official" start of the contest.  So, if you like free stuff, keep tuning-in for your chance to win (I've always wanted to say that)!  See ya!

May 3 - Hey, gang!  I'm gonna cut this short again tonight.  I'm working on a couple of neat commissions, one of which, a design for a Girl Scout patch, is due tomorrow morning!  How fun is that?  Anyhoo, I did want to tell you quickly that the WOMP Staff took a field trip today to the Wisconsin Archeology Center in La Crosse, Wisconsin!  I've long been interested in the ancient history of the area around WOMP H.Q., so it was in the spirit of learning more about the people who lived here before us that I set up a meeting between the WOMP crew and the Center's staff.  We toured the center's displayed collection of pre-historic artifacts, talked briefly with the center's director, and even got signed copies of his book about an amazing glyph-covered cave (which is only about 15 miles from WOMP Central!).  I was most interested in the cave drawings because, in one form or another, they were the works of the area's first cartoonists!

May 2 - Well, I was right; I didn't have the time, foresight, nor energy to write a WOMP-Blog entry yesterday...and, of course, I'm interminably lazy (that factored in there someplace).  Anyhoo, it was a pretty long day for me, as I had back-to-back caricature drawing gigs.  The first was at the River Ridge, Wisconsin, High School Prom.  I was scheduled for 8:00pm to 10:00pm, but I like to give people a little more than they expect, so I showed up at about 7:30pm, and I drew caricatures until 11:15pm.  That went well, but, for the first time since I've been doing this, one of my caricatures actually made the subject cry!  Honestly, I don't draw "nasty" caricatures.  In fact, as one observer noted last night, I "make people look better than they really are" (a comment which elicited the throwing of stuff at his head).  This particular caricature was even one of the better ones of the night, and the gal was pretty cute to begin with, so I have no idea why it made her cry.  I felt bad, but I didn't know what to do about it since I believed that I'd already done the best job I could.  Other than that, everyone seemed to really enjoy the drawings.  After I got out of there, I threw all of my equipment and supplies into my car, jumped in, and sped off for Fennimore, Wisconsin, some 18 miles away.  There I was scheduled from 12:00 midnight to 2:00am, but I drew from 11:45pm to 3:00am instead.  This one was a Post-Prom event held in a large church community room.  They had a karaoke machine, a padded "American Gladiators" style sparring ring, and several casino-type games.  They also had lot of fun people helping out.  Even though I was already pretty whipped, they sort of reinvigorated me, and, had my shoulder not suddenly blown out, I'd have stayed longer.  Right in the middle of the second to last caricature, I felt a quick sharp pain in my shoulder, and a corresponding sudden lack of strength in my arm.  I nearly messed up the drawing, but I held my arm up with my other arm and finished the drawing (I draw on a large pad of newsprint propped up on an easle, so the motion is sorta like using a marker to paint on a wall in the same spot over and over again).  The next subject sat down, and I took a quick sip of Jolt soda.  That seemed to be enough of a break, and I started in on the next caricature.  Everything was fine until, WHAM, the pain was back in a BIG WAY, and my arm literally fell limp!  I sort of rolled my shoulder, and it came back to life, but it any fine motions were completely impossible, so the poor guy ended up with a terrible, trembly "portrait" (now, HE should have cried).  I made my apologies and headed for home.  I got home around 3:30am, went right to bed, man, and I slept until 10:00am!  I needed it, too!  Today we did junk around the house while I healed.  Tomorrow I get back to business!  Oh, and, on a different note, I have found that Franklin D. Roosevelt also visited Prairie du Chien on a "whistle stop" fund-raising tour, so, that makes a total of 21 U.S. Presidents who have found the need to visit WOMP's hometown (with the possibility of two more as of yet unconfirmed sightings)!  If George W. Bush does show up on Friday, that will mean that more Presidents than not were here at some point in history!  How weird is that?